


Dirty Little Secret

by coffeeflavoredtears



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alpha John Laurens, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Alternate Universe - Pirate, Character Death, Gay Sex, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Miscarriage, Murder, Omega Alexander Hamilton, Omega Verse, Pirates, Stillbirth
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:02:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24748804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffeeflavoredtears/pseuds/coffeeflavoredtears
Summary: . “So you mean to tell me, the king let out his little toy, and the toy wants to screw him over?” He asked, ALexander biting his cheek but nodding in response. “Well then. If you can prove to offer truthful information and get us in and out, I’m sure we could make you some room on our ship.” The man smirked.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens
Comments: 7
Kudos: 57





	1. Chapter 1

Alexander had never enjoyed his life. From a small child he had been set in line for the king. When Alexander was only five, the king was nineteen, and a year away from being coronated into the throne. That was also their wedding day. It would have been seen as inappropriate, but he was a pretty omega who came from important blood, and that was all that had mattered. Instead of learning to read and write he learned how to respond Cto the king’s beck and call. Instead of playing with friends he would be learning how to walk how he was expected to. 

Nobody cared for his happiness or joy. Nobody cared if he didn’t want to bear children for the king when he was old enough. Fourteen was how old he was when he had been pregnant the first time. They’d thought he’d be old enough to carry a baby to term. He’d miscarried two months into the pregnancy. After that they treated him like he would break. He wept for the child, but it wasn’t of sadness. Only joy that they would never have to deal with when he had to.

The second time was two years later. Sixteen. He’d been able to carry to term, barely being allowed to leave the bed his entire pregnancy to “prevent” another mishap. The omegan servants gave him looks of pity. But that child had died in childbirth. Alexander had silently called it karma after impregnating a fourteen year old at twenty-eight. He hadn’t cried for that child either, especially upon finding out it would have been an omega. 

After the second time the king had started to doubt he would ever produce an heir. It was all that mattered whenever he joined his husband for dinner, but years of conditioning had taught him to never speak his mind, for fear of being punished. He was supposed to look pretty and produce an heir, and he hadn’t yet been able to produce one. He’d gotten lucky though, the doctors saying his body was likely still too small and frail to birth a child, suggesting the king give his body time to heal and grow a little more, suggesting another two years. 

Two years went by and the king was starting to get older. He told Alexander if this time failed he would be finding alternative methods to produce an heir. He had been scared for his life by then. It took a year for him to conceive another child, and to everyone’s surprise this one survived. As an omegan daughter. He was angered that he hadn’t had an alphan son, or even a beta son, but he had only quietly stated he couldn’t control it. 

He protected his daughter with his life, until one night two years later in a drunken rage after failing to conceive another child he’d thrown a silver goblet at her head. She died in Alexander’s arms hours later. 

After the death of his only surviving child he began to walk along the docks, crying for the children. Both in sadness of his daughter’s death, missing her smile and her face, and for his other two children, who he had never even had the chance to hold. The king wasn’t pleased with the behavior, but everyone around him had taken Alexander’s side in his anger to the king, stating he had now lost a third child, this time at the king’s hand.

He walked nightly, looking out at the stars. The king didn’t show up to his daughter’s funeral, leaving Alexander alone to sob over her body with only a few omegan servants to comfort him. So he cried each time, wondering how long it would take for him to either die, conceive an alphan son, or be replaced with someone who could.

One fateful night as he walked along the docks, he saw a man slashing another man’s throat, freezing in his tracks in the hopes he wouldn’t be next. He watched silently as the man took the shopkeeper’s wallet, and began to take goods out the front door. But he was noticed, and before he knew it someone grabbed his arms from behind and shoved a piece of fabric into his mouth, the samne man walking over.

He knew his eyes were filled with fear and he probably reeked of it as well, able to tell the two men were both Alphas and by the looks of it very strong ones. “Haven't seen someone looking so pretty around here yet. What’s someone dressed as nicely as you doing here?” THe man asked, and after a quick look to a ship where the goods were being loaded onto, he knew he’d been caught up with pirates.

He spat the fabric out, and felt a knife on his throat. “Y-You’re pirates, right?” He asked. “Well, I could get you a lot of money and jewels and whatever else you could dream of. I could give you any information on tha palace you please, in exchange for letting me come with you.” He had no idea why he said it, but he wanted an out. He wanted to get away from the sadness of each pregnancy, the sadness of his life and the knowledge the king didn’t have many fertile years left before he could no longer have an heir.

That seemed to get their attention though. “Excuse me?” THe man asked, moving the knife away. “I don’t know who you think you are-”

It probably wasn’t the smartest, but he cut him off. “I’m the king’s husband! Please, I want to leave that piece of shit and if this is how I do it so be it. But I grew up in the palace. I know every way in and out and if you let me join you I’ll tell you whatever you need to know.” He offered.

It definitely seemed to entice the man, who waved off the guy holding him in place. “So you mean to tell me, the king let out his little toy, and the toy wants to screw him over?” He asked, ALexander biting his cheek but nodding in response. “Well then. If you can prove to offer truthful information and get us in and out, I’m sure we could make you some room on our ship.” The man smirked.

“Okay. It’s a deal then. I have Three servants who trail behind me on my walks. Chances are they’re hiding right now or about to catch up. If- If three of you take their place I can get you in tonight and out in the morning.” He said with a shaky breath, clearly nervous.

The man seemed to nod at that, telling him to stay put as he walked with a few others to find the servants. THey shortly returned in the uniforms, Alexander chewing his cheek roughly as he stood there, his hands instinctively over his stomach, not paying any mind to it. He nodded to them. “Stay silent and a good distance behind me. When we arrive I’ll stop and you can catch up. From there you’ll follow me to my room, where-”

The same man from before cut him off, he assumed by the way he acted it was the captain. “Wait- you’re married to the king, and sleep in a separate room?” He asked, raising a brow in surprise.”

“I’m sure it’s odd to you, but I was six when we married, so it was one of my parent’s only conditions that I had my own space. But I have many jewels and fine clothing there that could be traded, and I’m sure you’d like them. In the morning after we gather what we can in there I’ll lead you to another room where we keep a lot of the priver stuff. We can gather whatever from there and slip out through the back, I’ll claim I’m going for a walk to buy myself some extra time.” He kept his voice low, though it was shaky. The men understood though, and while they were suspicious, they all had weapons and could easily overtake him if he tried anything. With that they walked back.

THe walk was silent and tense, Alexander shaking slightly. He lied that it was the cold, and they went back inside undetected. THey got to his room without any hiccups, beginning to gather his things. He heard the king knock on the door and instructed them to keep going, stepping outside as he always did. 

He acted just fine and okay with it as the king dragged him to his chambers, returning to a ransacked room an hour later. He was given questioning looks but said nothing, remaining silent as he gathered a few things that were deeply important to him, including a small locket he kept, with small paintings of his only surviving daughter, her name engraved on the back. It had been hers before she died, Alexander keeping it as a way to remember her. They were completely ready by the time morning came, and as soon as sunrise began Alexander brought them to the second room where they gathered whatever they could, hiding everything in his clothing and on the other’s bodies. WHen questioned as they walked out the front door he claimed another walk, and left.

It was the most freeing thing to do as he stepped on the ship, the captain with a grin on his face as the men celebrated at the haul they got, reminding the crew they now had only a few hours to leave. 

While the others prepared to go, John brought ALexander to his quarters, giving him some clothing to change into that would better suit the ship, Alex changing gratefully. When he was done, contrary to the advice of the crew, he threw the tight fitted clothing into the ocean after letting them pick off any jewels, already much more comfortable in the loose fitted clothing.

…

The first week on the ship was tough for Alexander. Lafayette, the ship's first mate, assured him it had taken him a while to adjust to the small meals and gruesome work, along with the uncomfortable cots they slept on. They spoke softly for a while one night at dinner, Lafayette telling Alexander of the kingdom he had come from. All the men on the ship were older than him, and Lafayette was the only one without surprise at how Alexander had been treated.

When he spoke of being wed at 6, Lafayette sympathized, telling him when he turned eighteen he was told he would be marrying an eight year old. Alex nodded and agreed at how stupid those things were while the rest of the crew was surprised as to how normal it was for them to speak of such things. Alexander had ended that conversation saying he was glad Lafayette hadn’t stayed around to marry such a young child. 

The next big shock to him had been the bathroom usage. They would either use buckets below deck or just go right off the side, and after his entire life of privacy going to the restroom it took him a while to be comfortable in front of the rest of the crew, Lafayette again reminding him he had the same issue and he would make it through.

Those conversations with him were what got him through some of the rougher days, happy to have the comradery that came with them both coming from royalty. Oftentimes the rest of the crew wouldn’t get it. They had all come from poor families and joined for a better life, wishing they were royalty. With the addition of Alexander it really showed them how terrible it actually was to be royalty. How corrupt people became with power.

But they accepted him and treated him as their own, showing him how to do things he was able to do, though he would usually end up in the kitchens helping out. The first time he had someone had made a comment it was “where he belonged” And before anyone could call him out to stop Alex had punched him and spat in his face, growling that if he continued talking like that he wouldn’t have a dick anymore.

That had received a lot of snickers, even John, as he’d learned the captain’s name was, laughed at his threat. Alexander smiled to him, and later that night they spoke privately in the captain’s quarters.

They were drinking and laughing, and most of all just talking, John asking Alexander more details of his life.

“So just how old were you when you got pregnant the first time? Surely it wasnt that young…” John asked, leaning back on the bed, sitting next to Alexander who shrugged.

“I was fourteen. And while yes, that’s young, most omegas are pregnant for the first time at twelve. I’m small even to omegan standards.” He explained, seeing John’s face of shock. “If I hadn’t been so small I probably would have been younger the first time.”

“And this was just allowed?” John asked, stil in shock.

“Yeah. My doctor said I should be ready to carry. He was sorely wrong. A few months later I lost the child, and it upset everyone around us. He was angry I hadn’t managed to carry to term, but I was just relieved the poor child didn’t have to grow up with him as a parent.”

“I see, well I’m glad that you’re away from that now. It seems to be relaxing to you.” He commented, Alex nodding. “It is. I miss my daughter, but she was gone already. I couldn’t have saved her from him, and it honestly probably saved her from the same fate I had. She was a pretty little omega girl.”

John nodded. “I’m sure she was a sweet child…” He smiled and hugged Alex close, kissing the side of his head.

That night had lead to them sleeping together, Alex falling asleep after curled into his chest.


	2. Chapter 2

When Alexander had puked over the side of the ship as soon as he’d woken up he had panicked, as well as John, but he knew. It was always a few months in when he would be sick when he woke up.

Alexander was panicked at this. He went back to John, sitting on the bed as he looked at him. “I uhh… John…?” He said a bit nervously, holding onto his stomach as he sat next to him on the small bed. 

John, bless his soul, wrapped his arms around him and looked up. “What is it?” He asked tiredly.

John looked bleary-eyed, until Alexander spoke. “I know it may not be the best timing, but I’m pretty sure I’m pregnant…” He told him, a bit nervously.

John seemed pretty awake after that, shooting into a sitting position. “You think you’re what-?” He asked, shocked in his voice.

“Pregnant. Definitely not yours, but I don’t usually get morning sickness until a few months in, and I don’t feel seasick in the slightest, and it makes this more complicated because if he knows he’ll be after me more than he would if only I disappeared.” He explained quickly, shaking a bit. John seemed to sense his anxiety and pulled him down onto the bed. 

“And you’ll be fine, he had no way of knowing if you are or not, so I wouldn’t worry if I were you. Besides, we’re in the middle of the ocean by now, we have supplies and manpower. Just relax and we can see a doctor the next time we dock.” He said simply.

Alex stood back up, shooting him a glare. “I get that I don’t understand what it’s like to be poor, but you also will never understand the sheer manpower he has behind him. Amons royalty in many nearby places, I’m well known. If anyone catches wind of even me alone they’ll be after whatever prize the king is offering. You also don’t know what desperation will do to him. He doesn’t have long left of physically being able to produce an heir himself.”

John sighed. “ANd he will find someone else to take that place. Again, you will be fine. It can’t be that worrisome. What you should be worried about is what you’re going to do with that child-”

Alex cut him off by slapping him. Probably not the smartest mood but he didn’t want to hear that rant he’d started on. “My decision will be my decision and nobody else’s. And I don’t even know if my body can handle yet another pregnancy. He doesn’t have time to train another child as a spouse and no older omega would willingly mate with him and have an heir for him. He’s not going to be pleased.”

John just looked at Alexander in shock, certainly not expecting it but definitely deserving it seeing as he’d started to ramble about omegan duties. It was something that happened often on the ship since they generally didn’t have omegas last long in their lifestyle, so they would often offend Alexander. He hadn’t stopped the slaps since he was only defending himself and his body most of the time.

“You know what? Fine. We’ll get you to a doctor to know for sure but I don’t think a child will last very long on this ship so I would start looking into options if I were you.” John snapped at him, ALexander only glaring as the other left the room. He was upset, and he certainly wasn’t ready to deal with John.

THe next stop they brought Alexander to the doctor, who confirmed their suspicions. He was pregnant. ALexander wasn’t too surprised, but he also grew fearful of the child’s future. He asked the doctor a few things privately about birthing without a doctor and the usual, and he was only given a small chance of him or the child surviving, and being told he needed a doctor.

He had snapped a bit at the doctor that he would be just fine on his own and like that he left to go meet John at the nearby tavern. He used the walk there to think things over, cursing himself for considering having the kid and returning to give the king the child before leaving again. But he knew he couldn’t do that to a poor child.

When he arrived at the tavern, the omega sat next to John quietly. They had barely spoken since their argument, because of the tense air surrounding them.

“Did they confirm it?” John asked softly.

Alex paused for a moment before silently nodding. “Three months along.” He confirmed to him before going silent. John seemed to sense this and wrapped an arm around him. 

“It’s your choice what to do but you do need to figure something out. You haven’t been on the ship through a storm but if there’s an infant on board when everything is being tossed around by waves they wouldn’t survive.” He explained, keeping his voice quiet.

Alex nodded a little and looked down. “I know… but I can’t just abandon this kid somewhere…” He mumbled.

“We have some friends, they’ve been trying for a baby for a while and they’re on land. Maybe we could go see them and when you have the child they could raise it. You’d still be able to see the kid every once in a while, but they would be safe.”

ALex rather liked this suggestion. He liked the thought of being able to see the kid, and keep them safe. SO he nodded. “I say we go meet them…” He said softly. 

They returned to the ship after their drinks and told the crew the news, some happy about the child, but others concerned for their safety if anyone found out about Alexander. But they didn’t say too much, letting John and Alexander go get some sleep.

The next few days of planning a route is wher ALexander truly proved he could be useful, pointing out the routes and timing of several trading ships that they would counter in their route. Some were skeptical of his knowledge, but as they made their way each and every one he had pointed out had proven to be true, along with how armed they would be. They managed to get a ship of foods under their control, taking all their goods that could fit on the ship before continuing on their way, ALexander smiling, proud of his help he had offered.

They soon arrived at an island, where ALexander met a man who he learned was named Hercules Mulligan. Hercules seemed ecstatic that Alexander considered giving his child to him and his wife, and after only a few drinks with him, his wife, and John he decided he would let them have the baby when it was born, and that they would return when it was close.

His wife was a nice change from all the alphas, Alexander telling her of his daughter and showing her the picture in his locket. Through talking with her he learned that Hercules worked in undercover operations against his kingdom, and that they already kind of knew who he was. He also learned that he was known privately as someone who cared little for the king or any power he held, which made him happy they didn’t see him as entitled.

By the end of the night everything was sorted out and ALex left with John back to their ship, everyone all smiles and happiness. His child would be taken care of by sweet and wonderful people, and he had JOhn there to support him. Everything was happy.

The days quickly turned to weeks, Alexander helping out where he could and enjoying being with John. The crew didn’t baby him too much, and took advantage of his knowledge of even private vessels and the routes they would take. He was an asset, and he considered himself officially safe from the king.

That was until he heard the crew talking one night.

Alexander was in the captain’s quarters resting when he’d heard talking out on deck. He heard his name mentioned, and got up to sit by the door and listen.

“I’m just saying, the price they’re offering is really high. We could use the money.” He couldn’t hear who was who, but he heard no defense.

“I know. And if we tell them he’s with child? It would probably be so much more.”

“Just imagine the payout, John. We got money for keeping him here, but it’s going to get expensive having a pregnant omega on the ship.

“I know.” Alexander was tearing up a bit, and he could recognize this as John. “I think we should try going for it. I mean we really need the money right now.” He sighed softly. “But nobody act differently or say something to him. We’re going to start heading there with him, and if he finds us out we can keep him as a prisoner until we arrive.”

There was a general nod in agreement, and ALex was tempted to slip back to sleep and pretend he didn’t know anything. But he couldn’t do that. He didn’t want to go back to the king and endure whatever punishment was waiting for him when he returned. He couldn’t do that again, and he couldn’t risk bringing another child into that world of worry.

So he figured he would do something drastic. He ran out of the quarters and stood up on the railing that separated the deck of the ship from the cold ocean below. He didn’t care that it was dangerous. He knew he would be dead if he fell over the side. But why should he care? He didn’t care if he lived or died if he had to go back to the king.

He looked to the group, all of them in shock. He watched John’s face change to worry as he looked to him, Alexander shifting back as he saw John stand.

“Alexander? What are you doing?” He questioned, his voice gentle. ALex teared up a bit. He thought he could trust these people. He thought they cared about him and saw him as their own.

“Get the fuck away from me.” He snapped. “Don’t act like I’m a fucking idiot. I heard everything.” He growled, holding his hands over his belly. When he told them that they all looked like deer in headlights, except for John.

“Then you heard that it’s just a farce, right?” He said, stepping closer to Alex.

He didn’t believe him. He couldn’t trust anything that came out of his mouth.

“I said get away.” He growled, moving a foot back so it was dangling over the ocean. A threat. And John and everyone else could see it.

“Then what do you want?” John asked. “Please get down and we can talk through this Alex. If you fall you can get really hurt…”

Alex looked to him for a moment, and without much thought said, “I know.” Before anyone could react he fell back into the cold ocean, falling unconscious as he hit what felt like cold, hard ground.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! This will be the last chapter for a little while because I am in the process of rewriting this entire thing! I love the concept of this dearly, but I feel like the execution has been shotty, so I will be uploading this to sate you all until I can begin the updates! It will still be here, don't worry, but as I update I will be removing the original chapters, and as the chapters will be far longer I will likely now havechapters 1-2 so the next chapter will be labled as chapter 1-2 all in chapter 1, so it really will depend on how this goe3s :) In conclusion though, I will be rewriting and I will be posting it here for you all to see :) I hope you enjoy this to hold you over until the revamp is prepared :D

There was a moment of silence after Alex threw himself off the side of the ship. Nobody had thought for a moment he would go through with it. Nobody had believed how truly terrible his life was with the king.

The first person to react was John, who ran to the edge of the ship to try to see Alexander in the waves, the rest of the crew following suit shortly after. It was another moment of silence before John began fastening a rope around his middle, tying off the other end of the rope on one of the masts. 

“John, please don’t risk this. You can get seriously hurt doing this…” Lafayette reasoned, trying to stop him from tying the knots, however John wasn’t listening, pushing him away.

“Sixty seconds.” He said shortly so everyone could hear. “If I haven’t surfaced by then start pulling me out.”

Everyone knew better than to argue, so they agreed, albeit reluctantly. Arguing would only waste more time, and would only end in someone getting hurt. So they watched as John dived into the water, much more prepared to hit the surface than Alex had been. His eyes stung as he opened them in the salty water, but that was the least of his worries. It didn’t take long to spot the glint of the necklace Alex wore and John swam to the form, thankful when he saw his body.

He was in full panic mode as he felt the rope start to tug as he neared Alexander, just barely getting his arms around the small omega’s body as he started to feel himself being pulled backwards. Before long they broke through the surface of the water, John gasping for air for a moment as he looked around, seeing the ship.

“Send the raft down but don’t detach, we’ll get back up that way!’ John called up, only hoping someone would hear him through the howling wind. He assumed someone must have when he watched the raft slowly lower to the water, swimming close as it touched and using the last of his strength to get Alex inside, flopping his own heavy, wet body inside, unconscious before it was brought up all the way.

The next time John awoke he was in clean, dry clothing in his bed, his head throbbing as he sat up. The room was dark and as he looked to the side he could see Alexander’s unconscious form, small beneath the covers and shivering, a sheen of sweat on his forehead. A small frown formed on John’s face as he climbed out of bed, ignoring the banging in his head as he made his way out of the room to find everyone else.

As he opened the door he saw everyone sitting in a circle discussing something, all heads turning to him as he stepped out. Lafayette was the first up, rushing to hug him. 

“Oh thank god you’re alright. We were all so worried about you…” He said softly, a smile forming on his face. “You were frozen when you came up, we think you hit your head a little hard when you hit the water.” Lafayette spoke in quick words, and John couldn’t help but hug him back.

“I’ll be fine, how long was I out?”

“A few hours. We’re headed right now to another small island to rest and find a doctor, we think Alexander broke a few bones when he hit the water.” Lafayette explained softly, pulling John to sit with the rest of them.

“That’s good… Fuck this is my fault… We should have been more careful…” He muttered.

“John, we’re not bringing him back. If that’s how desperate he was to not go back there it must have been terrible… I’ve heard he wasn’t the kindest but it must be worse than I had thought.” Lafayette said softly. “He clearly would rather be dead then return to the king. And clearly you don’t want him dead or gone or else you would have let him drown.”

“Then what should we do? Laf, that much money could set all of us for life. We could all find some island and settle down. Everything would be so much better with that money…”

“Then we ploy a farce. We send word that we have him and that he is with child, exchange a meet up, and when they show up to collect him gather the money and leave with him anyway. Maybe try to kill the king while we’re at it.”

“That’s not a bad idea… when- when Alexander awakes we’ll propose it to him. If he agrees we’ll go through with it. Arm him so that when he comes near the king he can strike. I doubt they’d expect him to have a weapon on him, nevertheless know how to use it.”

“Then let’s do it.”

…

When Alexander hit the water it felt like his soul left his body. He was standing on the ship looking at his own body sink further into the ocean, watching as everyone panicked over. He could only smile, but wondered if he was actually dead. As he watched John tie the rope and jump in the ocean he felt a pair of small, familiar arms wrap around his legs, his eyes tearing up when he saw his daughter standing there, holding onto him.

She looked the same she had the morning she had died, her hair nicely placed in a bun at the top of her head, a few stray hairs framing her face. She looked like Alexander, and even though she had only been five when she had passed away she had been bright, hiding away with books. The books she had loved so dearly being the reason for her death.

Quietly, Alexander picked her up and held her close to his chest, crying silently. “Why are you here?” She asked softly, leaning into him.

“You always knew too much, I’m sure you know why…” He said softly, leaning his head on hers.

“No. It’s not your time. You’ve got another baby to think of now.” She told him, poking his belly, causing Alex to smile softly through his tears. 

“Another child to be hurt by your father? I don’t want to see what happened to you happen to someone else. Better this than what they would have to go through.”

“No. John may not be too smart but I know he does love you. He’s just gotta see it.” She pointed to the raft being pulled up, Alex’s body laying on the floor of it, John on top of him, clinging to his almost lifeless form. “Being dead teaches you a lot of things.”

Alex teared up a bit seeing the scene, watching Lafayette and everyone else pull John and him out of the boat, following them into John’s quarters as they started to change both of them into dry clothing. Setting his daughter down, he walked to John’s limp body, now laying under the covers and sat next to him, brushing some hair out of his face. 

He had never felt as betrayed as he did when he heard John talking about sending him back to the king, scared the first person to ever make him feel loved and welcome somewhere get rid of him. He loved his life on the ship with everyone else, and he truly would rather die than be forced to leave this life of freedom.

Alex was quiet as he looked at their bodies. It was painful to see them both laying there, lifeless and limp. He wondered why John had risked his own life to get him out of that water. He looked over as his daughter sat on the bed next to him, wrapping her small arms around him, reminding Alexander just how young she was to go through so much.

“He really does love you. He needs to find it out for himself though. Then you can go back.” She explained softly, Alex nodding and holding her close.

“As long as I get some time here with you I’ll be alright.” He muttered.

The pair stayed there quietly as they watched John eventually wake up, looking at Alexander’s body as he stood and made his way out of the room on shaky feet, both of them getting up to follow him out. As John walked out, Lafayette was the first up, rushing to hug him. 

“Oh thank god you’re alright. We were all so worried about you…” Lafayette said softly, Alex watching a smile on his face. “You were frozen when you came up, we think you hit your head a little hard when you hit the water.” Lafayette spoke quickly, John hugging back after a moment.

“I’ll be fine, how long was I out?” John spoke softly, pulling away a little.

“A few hours. We’re headed right now to another small island to rest and find a doctor, we think Alexander broke a few bones when he hit the water.” Lafayette explained, pulling John to sit with everyone else, Alex sitting next to John with his daughter in his lap.

“That’s good… Fuck this is my fault… We should have been more careful…” He muttered.

“It’s not your fault John…” Alex said softly, reaching over and gently touching his arm, though he knew John wouldn’t be able to hear him.

“John, we’re not bringing him back. If that’s how desperate he was to not go back there it must have been terrible… I’ve heard he wasn’t the kindest but it must be worse than I had thought.” Lafayette said softly. “He clearly would rather be dead then return to the king. And clearly you don’t want him dead or gone or else you would have let him drown.”

“He has a point.” The child sitting in his lap spoke. “Maybe you can go back sooner than I thought.” She smiled sadly, leaning into him.

“Then what should we do? Laf, that much money could set all of us for life. We could all find some island and settle down. Everything would be so much better with that money…”

“Then we ploy a farce. We send word that we have him and that he is with child, exchange a meet up, and when they show up to collect him gather the money and leave with him anyway. Maybe try to kill the king while we’re at it.”

“That’s not a bad idea… when- when Alexander awakes we’ll propose it to him. If he agrees we’ll go through with it. Arm him so that when he comes near the king he can strike. I doubt they’d expect him to have a weapon on him, nevertheless know how to use it.”

“Then let’s do it.”

“Let’s do it…” Alexander repeated softly.

…

While Aley knew it wasn't his time to die, he didn't want to leave his daughter. God, she was so beautiful, and being able to see her made him so, so happy. The last time he had held her was at her funeral, and even then those moments were overshadowed by the king's hard grip on his shoulder. But now, he got to see her.To hold her small frame and know that she was there, and that she forgave him.That she didn't blame him for her death at the king's hand.

Alex fell into a bit of a new routine, watching John wakeup and clean up Alexander's small frame.Then, he would Change Alex into clean clothing, wiping away any sweat on Alex's face. It was an odd feeling, watching his love care for his almost Lifeless body like the world would end if he stopped. But his beautiful daughter reminded him each day that it wasn't right for him to go back to John. Not yet. He needed more time to plan the murder of the king, and he needed more time to "realize how much he loves you, papa." His small daughter, so small and loving, spoke to him about anything and everything.

"What was it like, when you died?" He asked one day, wondering if she had someone to lead her over lo the other side,

"My brothers." she told him softly. "They grew up, since you never made them to term. We were all so little at the time, but they helped me adjust. They don't blame you for being unable to carry them. You were just a kid for all of them, for me."

"Then why can't I see them like I can see you?" Alex asked her quietly, curiously.

"It was their choice. Only one of us was allowed to be here, and we agreed I was the best since you recognize me. But they love you." She went quiet as John walked into the room, Alex looking over to him.John sat down on the bed with fears in his eyes, crying softly.It hurt Alexander to watch, but as John began to speak He knew it was time.

"Alex, please..." He started, hugging the small and weak frame close to his chest.”I'm sorry I thought about sending you back to that life With the king... I Just need you to be okay now.Think about the baby.They have a chance at such a good life and-and you! You do to.Just please..." John Started to cry, which was pretty shocking considering

John Never cried. Not to. Alex and not to anyone else. It just wasn't something that he did.

And Alex knew. He knew in that moment it was time for him to go back to John, to HIS John. God, he loved him.

With one last squeeze to his daughter, Alex climbed in beel and hugged John tightly. The next thing he knew he was coughing. Something was in his chest. What exactly he didn't know but he knew It was something big, as moments later he felt vomit and the object rise out of his throat and spill on the floor, barely noticing Joan's wide- eyed could at him, alive and breathing after weeks of being unconscious. But Alex was happy, so happy to see and be able to interact with him, as opposed to the distance interactions he had before. Alex looked to the edge of the bed where his daughter had been moments before, quietly whispering "I love you..."

John seemed to think that Alex was talking to him and responded in turn, running a gentle hand through Alex's hair, gently wiping off his face. Lafayette and a few crewmates came barreling in, and Alex looked up weakly, Wrapping his arms around John. He felt weak, So weak, but he was happy. He had John and he wouldn't be forced to go back to the king who had hurt him so much, who had killed his daughter.

He felt many others join the hug and he couldn't have helped the tears that began to spill. He was loved, and he was safe. That was all he wanted in his life. And he finally had it. God, was it so, so worth it all the longer he was there.

Over The Next few months, Alexander recovered, his belly steadily growing. They eventually sent word and finalized their plan for Alex to kill the king, and they began the preparation, showing Alex where exactly he needed to aim to kill his husband in only one or two stabs. They wanted things to go as smoothly as possible with all the risks, even designing an outfit for him that would make hiding the knife easier, taking advantage of his pregnant belly to hide it.

God, he was terrified, the simple thought of seeing his husband bringing fear, taking comfort in John as the days grew nearer. He loved John, more than anything, and he was almost sorry that they wouldn't be raising the baby together. After seeing the way John cared for him while he couldn't care for himself. He knewJohn would be a good parent. But the ship was no place to raise an infant child. The poor kid would constantly be in danger, and at least he knew they would be safe and cared for by the Mulligans.

It wasn't much but it was something.


End file.
